Troubled Gilan
by Mijntje
Summary: Jenny is quite angry at Gilan. They break up, but both can't handle it well. Gilan neglects his fief and there will be consequences. How will this ever come to a good end? - English isn't my native language and this is my first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh on me :) Reviews with constructive criticism are always welcome!
1. Chapter 1

Gilan duck in the corner of Jenny's kitchen, desperately trying to avoid the plates she was throwing at him.

"Please Jenny," he said, "calm down. I've missed you, can't we just talk?"

Jenny screamed at him in anger. "I'd love to talk to you, if you at least were around often enough to hear it!"

Gilan duck again, but was just too late. A cup flew against his head, leaving a sore bump.

"I'm sorry okay?" Gilan yelled, in order to be heard over all the noise created by kitchen tools flying against walls.

"I didn't mean to stay away for so long. I can't help it!"

The mission was supposed to take a month or two. But he ended up chasing the group of robbers for half a year. Maybe he could have written Jenny, Gilan thought. But then he shook his head, he never had had the opportunity to write a letter, let alone have it delivered.

Tired of all her rage, Jenny collapsed and fell on the floor, crying. Gilan quickly walked towards her and took her in his arms. She tried to push him away, but was too weak.

Gilan felt incredibly guilty for the pain he had caused her, and probably would cause her in the future. Being a ranger, it was never certain how long he'd be gone or when he'd get a new mission.

He felt her change right there in his arms. Jenny had dried her tears and looked up at him.

"Gilan, I can't do this anymore," she said softly.

Gilan got cold inside. He had been afraid of this for a long time, but now that the moment arrived, he was less prepared than ever.

"I can't worry all the time and feel powerless and scared. I can't just wait for you to come home and when you do, only think about the moment you'll be leaving me again."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, but it's over."

Jenny broke out of his embrace and walked out of her restaurant, leaving him alone with his darkest feelings and thoughts.

* * *

Gilan sat at his porch, watching the rain as it poured down, making the grass muddy and slippery. He had replaced his beloved coffee, with something far stronger. But it no longer made him feel warm on the inside, just numb.

A few days ago, Halt had visited him. He had warned him that if he didn't get on with his life and acted a bit more responsible, there probably would be consequences he wouldn't like. But Gilan could care less. He had lost the one girl he'd ever love. No one could replace her. He didn't think about his fief anymore, nor the future of Araluen. All he could think of was Jenny's beautiful face, shining like the sun when she laughed, with lively blue eyes and blushing cheeks.

Gilan took another sip from the bottle, but realised it was empty. He trew the bottle away, accidently hitting the shed Blaze stood in. The horse snorted indignantly.

Gilan had neglected her lately. She missed the breeze in her manes, while riding at full speed, and the apples he used to give her.

Gilan got up and unsteadily walked to his horse. With difficulty he could pull himself up and take seat on the horse. Blaze walked slowly to prevent Gilan from falling of; therefore it took longer than usual to get into town.

Gilan knew a nice liquor shop where he could get some new supplies, but the road was filled with village people blocking his way. Then he realized the harvest feast had started yesterday. He had completely forgotten about it.

Somewhere in his cabin lay an invitation of the baron of his fief, asking him to meet him at the banquet tonight. Gilan just now remembered this, but understood he already was late.

In a hurry, not thinking about his current state of drunkenness and filthiness, he steered Blaze in the right direction and took off to the castle.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenny acted different. She cried all day. She didn't eat, or cook. She arrived late at work, of she never even came, and when she did, she looked like she hadn't had any sleep for days.

Will was worried about her and often came to talk to her. He tried to make her see that one day she would feel better and wouldn't feel this amount of pain if she thought about Gilan. When she heard his name, she started to cry even louder.

Jenny began to regret her decision. She knew she had hurt Gilan and was terribly sorry about that, but the worst thing was not seeing him, not feeling him, knowing that they were apart and that he wouldn't visit her anymore.

Alyss told her that it was her choice. It was up to her if she wanted him back. But the tall girl also said to her that she mustn't forget the reason of the break-up. Maybe it was best to try to forget about him, but Jenny just couldn't.

And after a few days of rethinking everything, she made up her mind. Jenny wanted Gilan back. Even if she could only see him every few months, it was better than nothing.

* * *

Gilan entered the little castle of his fief. He didn't notice the surprise at the faces of the guards when they saw him. But then again, he also didn't realise he looked like a homeless person with an alcohol addiction.

He stumbled into the grand hall, where the feast was held, with a lot more noise than the baron was used to, considering Gilan's status as one of the most silent among the rangers.

The baron immediately noticed something was off. Something was really wrong.

The guards had followed Gilan, since they were not sure if he actually was the ranger he claimed to be. Sadly, they were too late.

Gilan had reached the baron and was clearly offended by something one of the nobles had said about his appearance. He started to yell and smacked the middle-aged man in his face, causing a nosebleed which made everything look even worse.

The guards grabbed him and dragged him to a room which was connected to the grand hall, followed by the baron who looked quite upset.

"Gilan, I can't let you go on like this. I'm sorry but I have to file a complaint about you to Crowley."

The baron sighed. He and Gilan had always gone along just fine. It hurt to see his friend in this state. But he knew this was the only option to help him.

"You can't just hit one of the noblemen, because he's offended you."

"But," Gilan mumbled, "it was Jenny, he offended her. He said, he said he couldn't understand that a girl with her looks could make a man so miserable."

Gilan started to sob.

"Gilan, I know you miss her, but you have a duty to for fill. You can return to your cabin till Crowley has decided what to do with you."

The baron made a gesture to the guards, after which they helped Gilan up, with less force this time, and took him away.

The man sunk in a chair near the window and held his head in his hands. He felt old.

* * *

Jenny rode all day to get to Gilan's fief. He had taught her how to ride.

All she could think about was his handsome face, his cheeky laugh and strong arms. She remembered the way he used to look at her, and sighed. How could she have ever ended their relationship?

Jenny could see the village lying in the valley. The sky had already darkened, making the contrast with the campfires bigger. People were dancing around them, celebrating their day-off.

The girl smiled at the sight and approached the small town slowly, while looking around hoping to see a familiar figure. But she realised she would never see him, if he tried to make himself invisible that is.

Jenny left her horse at the inn and walked towards one of the campfires. She grinned when she saw a young couple kissing on the grass. The beautiful young girl disabled her from seeing the young man who was holding her in an embrace. When the girl got up and tried to help the young man to stand, Jenny froze.

She recognized the tall man, his short brownish hair and green cloak. It was Gilan, but somehow he looked strange, as if he wasn't there, not really. It was stupid of her to come here, she thought. She had been right to break-up with him. How fast did he get a new girlfriend? In a few days? A week maybe?

Their eyes met and Jenny could see his surprise, his happiness and then his pain.


	3. Chapter 3

Gilan just stared at her, stunned by her sudden presence.

He glared at the girl whose name he couldn't even remember and then looked back at Jenny.

He saw the pain in her eyes, her insecurity. She was unsure what to do. He wasn't sure what to do himself frankly.

They stood there for what seemed like hours. Then, all of a sudden, Jenny regained her courage and famous temper. She walked towards him, hit him in the face and ran off, leaving him with a glowing cheek.

What had he done? He didn't even care about this girl. She was pretty, he had to admit, but he didn't love her. He just needed some warmth to escape the darkness he had felt ever since…

Gilan shook his head. He couldn't think about it anymore.

He grabbed the bottle and drank all that was left. Then he grabbed the girl, pulled her close and fell with his back on the grass. They continued where they had left, until everything went dark.

* * *

Gilan got woken up by a furious Will who had emptied a bucket of water above his head.

The girl, who had still been there with Gilan, screamed and ran off, very upset, and wet.

Will helped Gilan up and then pushed him down again.

"Heey, what's that for?" Gilan began.

But when he saw Halt's disappointed glare, he fell silent.

He got up again, still unsteady, and walked away from them. He couldn't deal with them now, but Will stopped him.

"How can you be so stupid Gil! Crowley will undertake action. Don't you understand? He doesn't want to, but he has to!"

Gilan swallowed.

Finally Halt started speaking.

"I think we'd better discuss this in you cabin Gilan."

The trio rode to the forest in silence, but it wasn't a companionable silence.

When they got to the cabin, Gilan remembered the mess he'd left it in. He watched his friends as they took in everything they saw: the empty bottles piled up in the grass, dirty plates and cups in his kitchen, unopened letters covering his desk.

Halt didn't show anything, his face remained a mask. Will however, who hadn't seen this before, made a disapproving sound. Halt had taught them discipline was everything. The ranger lessons had started with cleaning for a reason.

Halt and Gilan sat down at the table and Will started cleaning cups and making coffee.

Gilan's former teacher took a letter from under his cloak and handed it over to Gilan. The ranger stamp was unmistakable. He sighed and opened it. Crowley… The young ranger scanned the letter quickly. His pounding head disabled him to understand it fully right away, so he gave it back to Halt.

"Please…" He sounded weak.

Halt pulled up an eyebrow and started reading.

"Crowley wants you to come to Araluen. He's got to talk to you."

Gilan nodded and covered his face with his hands.

"I'm a wreck."

Will put the coffee on the table and looked at Gilan. He had always looked up to him, admired him, but somehow that Gilan was gone. He wanted him to return.


End file.
